Last Day

Well, this is my last day in Paris, and I have mixed feelings about it. I've had fun here, but I'm also ready to go home, sleep in my own bed, eat my favorite pizza, and get back to work.

Yesterday for class, we had a field trip that involved going to a market and asking the vendors questions. While talking to real French people is a great idea, I did NOT enjoy bothering people while they were trying to work. A lot of vendors gave me dirty looks when they realized I did not intend to buy anything. It was a pretty cool way to shop, though -- there were separate stands and shops for meat, cheese, fruits and veggies, and even flowers.



There was also a flea-market-like area where people were selling clothing and various knickknacks. I found a shirt that sent a truly empowering message. I, too, want to be right, even if I attract the glaures.



The metro stations are currently peppered with ads for Sacha Baron Cohen's new movie, Bruno. It looks like an excruciating watch, but I am excited all the same -- especially when the new poster manages to be goofy, innocent, and filthy at the same time. I laugh every time I see his face. Are they displaying this ad in the US?



And, just to counteract the Bruno effect, I will leave you with my final ad of Paris, which will make you feel extra manly.



As Natalie pointed out, even the thing this guy is holding looks kind of like a rock. He is rugged, tough, and wearing pretty smells made especially FOR A MAN!

This afternoon I am hitting up my favorite papeterie for the last time, savoring one of my beloved banana-nutella crepes, and eating moules-frites (mussels and fries) for dinner. Mmmm.

Versailles

Yesterday, Natalie and I went to Versailles, which is only about a forty minute train ride from Paris. It was pretty darned fancy.



I cannot even imagine living in a place like that. It is enormous! And now, of course, it is packed with tourists. People who show up sans ticket have to wait in line for a ticket, then wait in line again at the entrance. You can bypass the first line by purchasing a ticket in Paris at any FNAC. (FNAC is a chain of stores along the lines of Best Buy.) Once we were in, we were treated to room after room that looked like... money. I do not even want to know how much effort it takes to build something like Versailles. This painting is a bit shiny, but there's definitely enough to prove Mel Brooks right when he said, "It's good to be the king!"



I, too, got to practice my statesmanship, beginning with the forbidding gesture.



I also learned some very important lessons in home decorating. Fancy wall paper, elaborate ceiling art, and gold detail really tie a room together, don't you think?



The Hall of Mirrors is still pretty impressive. It would have been fun to party in there.



And to top it off, there is a VERY fancy garden out back. The French do seem to love gardens, and I have to agree that they are awesome.



I must say I enjoyed the irony of celebrating Bastille Day on one day, then visiting Versailles the next. There was, in fact, a fireworks show at Versailles on Bastille Day. I'm sure a few historical figures roll in their graves every year!

Fireworks

This post was meant for yesterday, but I've been having epic internet problems. Now, however, I am taking advantage of some valuable time online! Before the fireworks, I met up with a friend by the Arc de Triomphe, which was pretty as usual.



It was threatening to rain, but fortunately that didn't happen. All over the city I saw soldiers still decked out from the parade, and a bunch of guys from the Indian army went marching by! The scammers were out in full force, unfortunately -- there are young women who walk around asking people if they speak English, and then they show a sign for you to read, asking for money, etc. Sometimes the sign is total gibberish and meant to distract and confuse. They usually have a partner who sneaks up behind you and tries to swipe your wallet while you are reading. I also ran into another ring scammer at the Quai Branly -- basically someone will pretend to have found a gold ring on the ground and they act very excited. They then claim they can't make it to the pawn shop to sell it. Would you, perhaps, be interested in buying it from them for a very low price so you can sell it yourself? The ring is, of course, worth practically nothing.

Anyway, Ruben and I wandered over to the Champ de Mars, but it was so packed with people that we couldn't bear to stay. A French singer named Johnny Hallyday was giving a concert that had people pretty worked up -- he appears to be a French icon on the level of Elvis, based on the warmup music and the fact that I saw people dressed like the King. Unless, of course, Elvis is still alive and well and happens to celebrate Bastille Day.



The fireworks didn't get going until 10:45, so I ended up chilling out in a cafe for a while. Then we headed over to a side street with a good view of the Eiffel Tower, so we wouldn't have to assert our space in a swarm of people. The tower was lit up as it usually is at night, and then, much like the start of a Rolling Stones concert, everything went dark. You could hear loud exploding noises, but couldn't see anything. Spotlights flitted quickly over the tower, but there was no action until, suddenly, the torches started up.



Then we were treated to about half an hour of fireworks, known as feu d'artifice in French. It was pretty great. My favorites are the ones that explode into lots of little flames that hang in the air like spilled glitter. At one point, the tower looked like a sparkly volcano!



All in all Bastille day was a pretty great time. My legs are still killing me from standing all day!

Bastille Day

Today, July 14th, is Bastille Day and France's Fête Nationale. There was no class today because of the holiday, so in the morning I went to check out the traditional military parade down Champs-Élysées, which was absolutely PACKED with people. Everyone just stood for a while, waiting, staring at the motionless soldiers lined up in the street. And suddenly planes were roaring overhead.



I know nothing about the French military, but some servicemen are definitely more popular than others. Everyone was cheering like crazy for a group of guys I have termed the "shiny hat brigade."



Traditionally France invites soldiers from a foreign nation to come march with their own military each year, and this year the guests of honor were from India. I know Sarkozy was involved with the parade, too, but I didn't wait to see him -- it was too hot, too packed, and I'd had a few too many children's butts shoved into my face as they squirmed on their parents' shoulders. But it was really cool to be part of another country's big celebration. It felt like half of Paris was there! (The other half, I soon discovered, was on the metro.)

Tonight's plan: Fireworks show at the Eiffel Tower!

Quai Branly

Yesterday I headed out to the Quai Branly museum, which prides itself on its exhibits of art from around the world but especially from Africa and Oceania. When you enter the museum, you have to walk through a mock rainforest, complete with recorded birdsong. The Eiffel Tower in the distance does remind you where you are, though...



Most of the art itself is totally awesome. You can look at everything from masks to bark paintings to human skulls. The one with the chainsaw-like shape protruding from it is, according to the guidebook, the skull of an enemy kept as a trophy. The one with the red nose is the skull of an ancestor, kept for protection.



My favorite part of the museum was, surprise surprise, the section where they had some Christian art from Ethiopia! It was awesome, especially because I could recognize certain elements from other Christian art I've seen. There were equestrian saints and Jesus making his usual hand gesture that you can find in Coptic and in some medieval icons. It basically means, "Blessings, yo."



The museum's stated mission is to shine the spotlight on other cultures (i.e. non-Western cultures) as a show of solidarity and appreciation. There is art from multiple time periods, from China, Japan, Africa, and South America. The museum also displays Native American artifacts from North America. I'm not sure how I felt about the categorization and display, though -- there wasn't any historical context, really, and really ancient stuff (such as Ethiopic art) was placed directly across from objects from a totally different place and time period. Some of the videos of rituals in Africa were modern (people were wearing dated clothing from the 70s) and there was very little idea of ritual development over time. There was also a special exhibit on Tarzan going on, which I did not check out, but... the implied idea that we are looking at primitive objects when we look at art from other cultures made me uncomfortable. The stuff itself is great.

Musée de la Chasse

Le Musée de la Chasse et de la Nature is about nature -- and how much people like to chase and kill it! Jenny (a friend from college) and I met up to tackle it together yesterday and had a blast. The museum is devoted to hunting and hunting culture from times past. The most unsurprising part of the exhibit was the trophy room crammed with animals you are not allowed to hunt anymore.



But the real charm is in the collected art and antique weaponry. You can check out the spears, crossbows, and fancy engraved guns noblemen used to cart around, as well as the portraits of their hunting dogs they commissioned. There were also paintings of dead animals artfully arranged on kitchen tables, next to hunting equipment, or just high enough to be safe from hungry dogs depicted below. I keep imagining some hunting buff coming home to his wife with a framed painting of a disemboweled boar, saying, "Honey, wait until our friends see this at the next party! Let's put it in the foyer!" Also interesting was the fact that not all hunting dogs fit our mental image of "working dog." Some of them looked like the fluffy little lap dogs people spoil today.

There were also some truly bizarre displays such as ceilings coated with skulls or, in one case, with owl heads. Even creepier is that the eyes in the owl heads don't look like owl eyes, so it feels like people wearing owl costumes are peeking down at you.



There was even a dark room dedicated to unicorns, where you could occasionally hear single, melancholy piano notes. In addition to the more artistic items, there were little chests of drawers providing details about various hunting game, such as deer or wolves. Each featured a representative animal skull, imprints of its tracks, and a sample of its poop for tracking purposes. Trophy animals were interspersed throughout, and were occasionally put in surprising places!



This museum was hilarious and I highly recommend it. It was truly fascinating to get a peek into hunting as a historical European subculture. If you get a chance, go!

P.S. Watch out for the talking boar head. I'm not kidding.

Jardin du Luxembourg

I meant to post this yesterday but my computer battery died! I had a very pleasant afternoon on Friday. A couple of people from class and I went to the supermarket, bought camembert, crackers, and some cheap wine, and went to loaf around in the Jardin du Luxembourg. We found some chairs by a very lovely fountain, read books, and watched ducklings paddle around in the water. We also enjoyed watching pigeons scavenge for food -- my friend Georgina dropped a piece of cheese and they fought for it like you wouldn't believe! We speculated about whether you could get a pigeon drunk by soaking crackers in alcohol and then dropping them, but didn't actually try it...



Eating meals this way makes for a lovely time, but it is also MUCH less expensive than eating in restaurants in Paris, which will bleed you dry. While we were sitting around, a middle aged couple walked by and declared that our idea was brilliant because they couldn't afford to sit in restaurants, either!



By the way: One of Paris's more civilized qualities is that alcohol is permitted in public spaces, so we were not doing anything illegal. The drinking age here is 16.

Summer In Paris

Yesterday evening, Natalie and I had originally intended to go to an opera, but the last minute tickets were pricier than expected. However, there is always something to do in Paris, so we decided to check out Shakespeare & Company, Paris's most famous English language bookstore and the one with the most impressive history. When we came out of the metro at Place St. Michel, we saw a pretty excellent fountain.



There were a lot of people gathered around to watch some kind of street performance, so we took a peek and saw these guys breakdancing/doing capoeira/something.



I haven't talked much about this before, but Paris is jam-packed with street performers of various kinds. There are living statues at Sacre Coeur, dancers in public squares, and musicians in the metro who are more than willing to give you an involuntary concert experience. These musicians range from apparently legal, fairly decent violinists in the metro tunnels to crappy accordion players who board your car on the train, play for a few minutes, and then walk up and down the aisle asking for money. There are also women who carry signs begging for help, saying they are mothers or grandmothers attempting to care for multiple kids.

The most disturbing performance I have witnessed was that of a hunched, elderly woman, dressed all in black. She trundled onto the train wearing no shoes, only these black socks on her stubby feet. With the hunch she barely reached my chest. Once she boarded the train and it started moving, she starting wailing and singing some kind of dirge, holding out a coin purse to everyone around her. It was pretty disturbing.

The most awesomely bad performance I have been subjected to involved an accordion player who only played "Yesterday" and "My Way," over and over again. He had a machine that played most of the music for him, so he only had to do the melody (and perhaps he didn't even play that himself). I was on that train for a long time, so as the guy moved from car to car, I would hear Frank Sinatra echoing in the station whenever we stopped and the doors opened.

Anyway, Shakespeare & Company was AWESOME. It is an adorable store that is absolutely crammed with books. Some are used, some are new, and there are always little nooks and crannies where you can sit and read them. There is a library of sorts on the upper floor and where I found people stashed away in all the corners.



I bought myself a book that I intend to enjoy in a garden this evening. Parisians and I definitely have similar ideas about having fun. Lots of young people here like to get something to eat and drink, sit in a park somewhere, and either read or talk to friends. Works for me!

Random News

The RAI is wrapping up today, and I have had a great time! I ended up making a few new friends, having some great conversations, and listening to some interesting talks. My favorite part of being at the conference was watching old friends from around the world get excited to see each other. Maybe one day I will have friends like that!

And, for your enjoyment, here are my two favorite quotes from the paper giving sessions:

One woman, talking about medicine, stated that many treatments "involve purging through the mouth or anus, which will be dealt with in detail." (It was interesting!)

And, in response to a discussion in which sexual taboos and seeing family members in the afterlife were both mentioned: "Let us all hope to meet our relatives in the afterlife, but not to sleep with them."

And though I didn't get to see this paper, my favorite title, because of its sheer nerdiness, was "Copular Biclausal Constructions." Go philology!

In other news, you know how I joked early on in this blog that my host family might be related to that great witticist, Francois de la Rochefoucauld? Well... it turns out that they ARE! Here is a delightful quote of la Rochefoucauld's to remind you of his awesomeness:

I have ability. I have no hesitation in saying it, as for what purpose should I pretend otherwise. So great circumvention, and so great depreciation, in speaking of the gifts one has, seems to me to hide a little vanity under an apparent modesty, and craftily to try to make others believe in greater virtues than are imputed to us. On my part I am content not to be considered better-looking than I am, nor of a better temper than I describe, nor more witty and clever than I am.

Later members of this illustrious family were important public figures in France, and even built a hospital. As it happens, I passed it the other day!



Pretty cool, huh?

Ads of Paris!

While I am listening to talks about Ugaritic scribes, ancient adoption practices, and exorcisms (looking forward to that one!), I figured you guys would rather read about something else. So here it is -- Ads of Paris! Those of you who followed my Berlin blog know that I enjoy collecting photos of strange advertisements and posting them on the internet, and this summer is no different.

First up is the very first ad I noticed in Paris as I rode the metro from the airport.



Let me tell you, this is exactly the guy I need to tell me about getting the same electrical power but at a lower price. Those powerful biceps combined with that feather-thin hair... he's like a downgrade from Steven Seagal. Lower price? Indeed. Same power? I think not!

Paris is also filled with ads directed at those hoping to beef up their English language skills. Most talk about the "95% Oral" method or feature smiling men and women affirming, "Yes! I speak Wall Street English!" But these guys took a different tack:



That's right, everyone. STOP BUTCHERING YOUR ENGLISH! There's another version of the ad featuring a beat-up Scotsman. I love it.

I'm not sure what to make of this next one. All I can say is, "To the limits," indeed, because he's definitely pushing mine. Keep your tighty whities to yourself, dude!



This next ad, which appears to be for car insurance, cracks me up.



I admit the photo isn't great, but you can definitely tell that the guy is all exposed and unprotected. What you can't tell, even in person, is that he's unhappy about it. That jaunty tie and "What? I'm naked?" look remind me more of a dude at a frat party looking for an excuse to flash someone. The naked woman in the other version of this ad looks equally willing to roll with it.

Orangina is Fanta's big competitor in this city, and their ads are definitely attention-seeking. Every vending machine is covered with female animals who are given very human figures (including huge breasts) and provocatively posed. There is a particularly slutty looking Zebra, but I'll treat you guys to the giraffe:



She is actually a new member of the Orangina family. Another strange creature I spotted was a sexy cactus! (I swiped this image from the internet, however.)



Somehow sexy plants and animals do not make me thirsty. Your tattoos, however, might get hungry, as I learned from this sandwich promo. When I get that tattoo I'm planning on, I guess I shouldn't get one of anything with a stomach.



France has also taught me how to shop. This fine young lady, for example, is so aggressive that she needs knee pads and combat boots.



My friend, if you really need that flannel shirt, you can have it!

I'm not sure whether I would prefer to spend an evening alone in the doll museum or with this woman:



An upside-down photo of someone grinning manically is inevitably an attempt to say, "Look, I'm wacky and fun!" But the actual message is always, "RUN." Remember that, kids.

And now I will close with the sexiest ad in Paris, mainly because it so prominently features Alan Rickman.

RAI

I am spending a couple of days this week at the RAI, also known as the Rencontre Assyriologique Internationale. It's the annual meeting of the world's Assyriologists and thus, by default, THE happening place to be in Paris this week. So far we have only been through the opening ceremonies and a few talks, but I am quite enjoying myself. Large conferences are generally a place where the young and eager kiss the hems of the old and badass with varying degrees of success. As a non-Assyriologist, I have no utility whatsoever for networkers, meaning that they have no interest in talking to me. More than once I have seen someone's eyes glide blankly over my name tag before moving on in search of big game. I just take the free food and enjoy the talks! Some of the other students I have met so far are pretty cool people. I do wish that some of the Assyriologists I actually know were here, because they are fun!

I am grateful for my efforts to learn other languages, too. This conference is genuinely trilingual (English, French, German) and, while I am far from total comprehension, I don't feel lost and upset either. Right now I am on lunch break writing this from a net cafe called Milk off of Rue St. Germain. Doesn't look like I will be a repeat customer, however, because the dude at the counter is a jerk! Also I hate French keyboards. On what planet should you have to hit shift to get a period but not to get an exclamation point? And that is only the beginning of the insanity.

Tonight I look forward to a reception and the chance to keep meeting other geeks!

Museum-a-thon

Today was the first Sunday of the month, which means that a number of the museums in Paris were free! Natalie and I took advantage of the situation by meeting up this morning at the Musee d'Orsay. Hundreds of other people had this idea also, but that didn't detract from the fun! The museum is set up in a former train station and has a very open feel.



The permanent exhibit is a treasure trove of paintings by Degas, Van Gogh, Cezanne, Monet, and my personal favorite Odilon Redon. It is absolutely lovely. Also on display were some of the silhouettes from the Chat Noir theater. In addition to lovely art, the museum also has a terrace with a fabulous view of the city -- you can see Sacre Coeur in the distance! (And, as you know, I much prefer it at a distance.)



After the lovely Musee d'Orsay, Natalie and I headed over to the Musee Rodin. The sculpture is beautiful, but the museum itself provides stiff competition. It's set in an old house surrounded by a tranquil garden decorated with famous works such as The Thinker.



I would go back to this museum just to hang out in the garden again.

Our final stop of the day was the Musee Picasso. While the Rodin museum was very stately, the one dedicated to Picasso had a funhouse feel that imitated his painting style. When you walk in, you first see a mirror set up to hazily reflect half of the building. It was fascinating to see so much of Picasso's work all in one place, and to talk through room after room of human figures arranged in such strange ways. There was also a cool set of photos of Picasso himself as he worked on a painting in his boxers. Did he have a great job or what?



I have to say I am very impressed by Paris's museums, not only because of what they display, but because every museum is a full experience that includes the actual space you occupy while looking around.

Opera!

Today, Eleanor (a friend from the language school) and I went to tour the Charles Garnier opera house. We were both Phantom of the Opera fanatics as kids so it was a particularly rewarding experience. The gaudy opulence of the building is unforgettable.



There are guided tours at 11:30 and 2:30 every day, although unfortunately the English language tour was sold out already when we arrived. So we decided to do French instead! Eleanor has actual experience with speaking and hearing French, so she caught a lot more of it than I did, but I was proud of myself anyway. Before the tour, we waited around in a large room with a mirrored ceiling.



Even though I couldn't understand most of what our tour guide was saying, she was obviously awesome. Her animated gestures and facial expressions not only helped me grasp what she was telling us, but indicated that she very much enjoys her job. I learned some interesting stuff -- such as that all of the costumes are made by hand, and that it takes an entire week to manufacture one tutu. And I kept imagining scenes from Gaston Leroux's book as I walked around. Apollo's lyre, the grand staircase, it was all there! I only regret that I did not ask our guide to point out Box 5 -- the Phantom's box -- when we were in the actual theater.



And of course, when people were not listening to opera, they were schmoozing in fancy ballrooms. Apparently there was one room for single men and couples, and another for single women. (Lame!) We were also told that the stairs in the building are deliberatly shallow because women were not supposed to show their feet -- although, as our guide quipped, ample cleavage was obviously okay.



The tour is a bit expensive (12 euros, 9 for students under age 26), but it's totally worth it. You get an hour and a half of entertaining commentary and a look at a very fascinating building. And I definitely got all nostalgic thinking about Phantom, which was my first musical.

Happy July 4 everybody!

Going Medieval

Yesterday after class, Natalie and I went to the Musee du Moyen Age, a very fine museum built into an abbey and the frigidarium of a Roman bath. There is a ton of awesome stuff to see, from reliquaries for pieces of the true cross to fabulous textiles, most famously The Lady and the Unicorn.



I also found the Holy Grail!



While medieval stuff is AWESOME, you can probably all guess that my favorite part of the museum was the part dedicated to Roman baths. They had all kinds of mirrors, makeup pots, and busts of women who obviously took their hair very seriously.



One of the funnest aspects of the museum for me was comparing the later European images of saints with the Coptic icons I got used to in Egypt. Let me just say that St. George gets to kill MUCH more awesome dragons in Egypt. What is that thing? A slug?



The demons, however, were in fine form yesterday!



As was this guy's derriere, if you like the "very defined" look...



Overall this museum is completely awesome, and I recommend you go if you ever get a chance. The artifacts are great, the displays are nice, and there are informative little cards in each room that give you interesting factoids. It is, however, extremely crowded, so be ready to wait if you want to get a close look, especially at smaller objects.