Louvre

Oh Louvre, we meet again! The museum is as ridiculously gorgeous as ever. This time I went with my friend Kenneth, who I have not seen since we graduated from college a year ago. Since then, he has been teaching English here in Paris and generally being awesome.



We started with the classical antiquities, where Kenneth humored me while I told him my personal version of the stories behind various sculptures, such as the one of Hermaphroditus, who spurned the love of a nymph who was wild about him. Unfortunately she prayed to be joined with him forever, grabbed him, and caused them to become one person with both male and female attributes. Or that of Marsyas, who -- after Athena invented the flute but threw it away because it disfigured her face -- took the instrument up and was stupid enough to challenge Apollo to a musical contest. Obviously he lost, and was then flayed alive. Along the way, we discovered that Kenneth can strut his stuff just as well as Augustus's most beloved nephew, Marcellus.



Kenneth and I went wandering through the Greek and Roman stuff, and then checked out the Iranian and Mesopotamian art. What truly broke my heart about this visit, though, was that the Coptic exhibit is CLOSED! Quelle horreur! I'm so lucky I checked it out a couple of years ago, because otherwise I might have cried.

We also looked at some of the more modern sculpture, most of which was influenced by the classical stuff. Much to my delight, there were actual guards standing around and yelling at people who touched things. Last time there was no one! I don't know what makes people think it is okay to go around touching valuable works of art, but at least someone stops them now. One of the major differences between European classically-influenced sculpture and the "real deal" is a sense of modesty. While the Greeks and Romans let it all hang out, later work indulges in some very creative censorship.



"What are you staring at? Honey, that leaf has always been there!"



"Sacre bleu! A lion is eating me! But fortunately a cloth has flown daintily up to cover my naughty bits!"



"Excusez-moi, I just need to reach up and grab something..."

And of course, they dealt with this poor sap by giving him no manhood at all.



That is not to say that these European sculptors depicted subjects who were modest and up to nice and friendly things. I myself was chased by a lusty satyr!



It was absolutely great to see Kenneth again. And he's really good at French these days! Hopefully I'll meet up with him yet again before he goes back to the US for a vacation. As for the Louvre... I'll be back for more!